Great acts of self love include giving to yourself an unconditional love, gentleness, and kindness…The kind of love that embraces all of our parts no matter what.

How often do you look at yourself harshly and critically? More so than any other person would is my guess. We often see where we are lacking, how much we are not doing, not achieving, and how we are not where we want to be. These send the message of “not enough”, “aren't worthy”, “undeserving of love” to ourselves. We tend to look at one portion of ourselves and dismiss the rest our ourselves that have accomplished things, that has grown, that is a lovely work in progress. Sometimes the darkness is heavy and can take over like a large black cloud.

The truth is, we are often trying our best, unfolding in our unique way, naturally admirable and beautiful in ways that we don't pay attention to. Just like children, we are doing what we can to navigate the emotions and sensations we feel, our interactions with others and the expectations we have. We hardly see the friends that we love with the same kind of nit-picky-ness. A friend would often see your being, your accomplishments, and your efforts with more love, gentleness and compassion.

Let's love ourselves now, while we are alive and can! Shifting into love can happen immediately, no matter what your circumstances or how you were raised. You can develop and practice inner resources for self-love… and be gentle as you practice them.

Here are your Self- Love challenges this month (and for life) for being kinder to yourself:

1. Practice looking at yourself with complete love and gentleness as you would do a friend or pet. What loving or kind words might you tell a friend that you may need to hear yourself?
2. Shift out of the paradigm of being worthy or good enough only if you accomplishment and into experiencing who you are being and who you already are. Notice when you attach to your to-do list as a gauge for whether you are enough or worthy.
3. Explore the parts of you that become negatively and overly critical. Dialogue with these parts as if they could converse with you. Ask them what their message is and what their job is. Chances are, they are reminding you of your potential or keeping you on track towards what you yearn for (in not so nice ways). Ask what this part of you needs from you and provide it.
4. Write down the things you've accomplished in terms of who you are and the small to large achievements you have had.
5. Imagine a person, spiritual figure, or animal that you feel loved and safe with. Allow their love and compassion to wash over you and shine on you.
6. Write down 3 things you are grateful for about yourself. These could include your values or qualities, who you are being, what is important to you, or your actions.
7. Imagine your future or your higher self looking back at your present day self. Imagine the words of compassion, encouragement or comfort that you need to hear from your future or higher self.

Practice one a day each week for this month or choose a few a week to deepen into.

Know that these practices may bring up emotions, sensations, or memories that are unpleasant. When love grows, it is as if our soul realizes you are ready to heal and offers opportunities for healing.

Sometimes we don't step into love because we are not ready to feel the emotions that are being held down or that actually come from being critical and harsh. We may choose to stay in the space of being critical to ourselves as a defense mechanism for feeling. We can keep on criticizing to avoid truly feeling the emotions and letting them move. There are ways to practice moving through these gently including using Somatic Experiencing or working with a healer or therapist.

Get support from a loved one, therapist, or healing facilitator if this becomes overwhelming or you would like a compassionate witness.